Husbands and Wives

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.Ephesians 4:22-33

*Disclaimer: I may make some generalizations in this blog. It's ok. Your situation may not fit this situation. That's the cool thing about God. He made us all completely different and speaks to each and every one of us in the ways we need to hear. So, if you don't identify with this, great!
This scripture has been on my heart this week, well, maybe a little longer than that. Now, if you are not married and are reading this, please don't stop. Singles, this is so important to know and it applies to you, too. Scripture speaks on this topic several times. So, it's pretty important. 
Husbands and wives. We're pretty different. I have spoken to several women in the past couple of weeks who happen to be wives. They all seem to be missing something, searching for something, waiting on something, fearful of something.  I find more often than not they find themselves afraid to bring the situation or the worry to their husbands for fear of what they might say or do, not really giving them the opportunity or the chance to be supportive to their wife. The wife finds herself digging into scripture and praying, but often alone. I love that these ladies are digging deep and finding God in every situation and that is exactly what they should be doing, but there is something that does bother me. 
When we marry. we leave our father and mother and are joined together. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, Wives are meant to submit (honor, respect) their husbands as the church does to Christ. Husbands are meant to be be spiritual leaders.  THAT is where I believe we wives get hung up. "My husband is supposed to be the spiritual leader of our home." If it doesn't look like we like it to look, often times we as women tend to take over and try to make it look like we think it should look like.  Ladies, can I let you in on a secret? It's not going to look like that. Maybe not ever. You see, Your husband is on his own spiritual journey. He may have completely different experiences than you do.  Women tend to learn through emotion and need to feel that nearness to God. Men are completely different.  They tend to learn from their experience and adventure around them. They feel near to God in his creation and maybe not as much in a worship service.  They think differently, they feel differently and that's great!  If we were the same, it would be so boring. Don't put him or God in a box.
So, when we as women take over that spiritual leader role because our husband's leadership doesn't look like we think it should look like, it skews the balance. It doesn't feel right and both husband and wife may become frustrated and may not even know why. It doesn't give him the opportunity to lead in the way he is designed to. No, it may not look like the family devotional around the dinner table. Look at how Christ led his disciples. They were on the go, on the hillside, near the river, in the garden, in a boat. He taught his disciples as they lived. It was valuable because he met them where they were.  Read Deuteronomy 6:1-2, 7 it commands us to "Repeat God's words to our children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Your husband's way of leading is biblical!   Ladies, your leadership of your kids is just as valuable. They need the nurture, emotion side of the learning, too, but they need BOTH voices in their lives and if you just take over that other part, it just leaves it kinda one sided and it kinda cheats your husband of the opportunity to serve your family. ***Some thoughts from James (my husband)***1. Realize he communicates best when doing something else and not sitting face to face.  (He may be driving or working on a project).  Don't miss out on those opportunities or discount them because they are not "over coffee" conversations. 2. Make space for him. James hears this from other men and sometimes struggles with this, too. (Which means I have work to do as a wife, too) It's hard to find time to discuss with their wives and when they do, it feels like they are competing with phones or other voices/needs.  There NEEDS to be time without kids/phones/or other distractions. (DATE NIGHT IS IMPORTANT)
Husbands, God gave you an amazing gift in being the head of your home.  Now that we know that your experience of God may be a little different, He did give specific instructions on how to lead your family.  This passage in Ephesians isn't the only passage.  Look in 1 Corinthians and Colossians. Family is so important to God. Your leadership of your family is even more important. You're the hero of the family, you're to love your wife like Christ loves the church, like you love yourself.  Now, I know that you LOVE your wife. Can I let you in on a secret.  She's scared that you don't know the Father like she does. She's scared that your relationship with Christ is not as intimate as hers is. Whether that is true or not, we just learned that you learn differently, BUT it is important to HER that you share what God is doing in your life.  I know you talk to God. I know you study His word. I know He speaks to you, but if you don't share that with your wife (think the church) how does she know that you are pursuing Him? Verse 25 stands out to me, "cleansing her with the washing of water by the word." This would be refreshing to your wife. It satisfies a thirst deep in her soul. It doesn't have to be in the form of a couples devotional (unless you want to do that), just share with her from time to time where you are studying, what you are praying about, what God is speaking to you. When she comes to you with her day, offer to pray with/for her. I promise, it's like water to her soul. The number 1 thing, though, is you do need to be pursuing God. Pursuing Him creates an intimacy with each other that's incredible!
So, long story short....1. Communicate in your relationship about God, let each other know what's up in your journey.2. Men, be the head of your home, don't step aside and let your wife do it.3. Women, let him lead, in his way and give him the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to weigh in on issues in your life and the lives in your home. Don't fear "what he will say," it strips him of the opportunity to respond.4. Love each other well and deeply, be interested and invested. 5. Singles, get this in your head before you marry. <3

Building Up

Some themes I have been seeing on social media lately have been focusing on allergy season and building up our immune systems. It's really a great thing to do to protect and prevent illness in our body.  We do this with vitamins, food, rest, exercise, and relaxation. There are many proactive things we can do so that we are not reactive in our approach to our health.

It's the same with our faith. We have an opportunity to be proactive in our faith in order to build it up so that we are not trying to catch up when we are in crisis in life or in faith. You know that place. When we have fought the battle until we are exhausted. When we have come to the end of our human strength.

In Exodus 17, Amalek came to fight Israel.  Moses had a plan. He instructed Joshua to go and fight Amalek and his people.  Moses was to go stand up at the top of a hill with his staff and hold up his arms. As long as his hands were raised towards the heavens, Israel prevailed. If he dropped them, Amalek prevailed.  Moses got tired, his arms got heavy.  See, this is where Moses was proactive. You see, God had put people in place to stand along side of Moses.  Aaron and Hur.  When these two men saw Moses become fatigued and the battle waned, they stepped up, pulled up a stone and had Moses rest.  Then, they lifted Moses' arms for him. Israel won the battle.

I know we are busy. We can rarely take time to see those God has placed around us because we are busy fighting our own battles. Busy living our lives with our heads to the ground, just trying to make it through the next season.  I'm pretty positive that God never wanted it to be this way. We are designed for community. We're supposed to carry each other's troubles (burdens) (Galations 6:2) according to love. We are supposed to have faith for each other (Jude 1:20 NLT). We're supposed to encourage and build each other up (1 Thess 5:11).  We're family (Romans 12: 10 HSCB).  We stand by each other and hold up one another's arms.  How do we do this? We look up. We look around and actually 'see' each other.  We pray for one another and build each other up instead of tearing one another down. I know, it goes against everything the world stands for right now! Shocking! It's hard when you only see your brothers and sisters in Christ only once or twice a week. You don't truly know what is going on in their life, especially if they don't share at 'given' prayer times or just in polite conversation after service. We all have family members in our churches who are walking through HARD things. They are suffering, bleeding, and some dying through their struggles.  Some are struggling with things that maybe you have already walked through.

How can you build their faith? First we have to ask. Be intentional and know when something might be "off" and ask. Second, hold up their arms. Pray for them. In your quiet time (and ask God because he will reveal if you ask!) or while you are driving to the next thing, pray for whoever pops into your mind, seek Him for that person and get a word for them.  You never know it may be the only thing they have to cling to. You will be surprised how much your faith is built in the process. Want to be deeper in with a group of people? Pray for one another. It doesn't take much, just hold up their arms. Write a note, send a text, make a call.  Was that terribly difficult for Aaron or Hur? Do you think they complained to the Lord that they didn't have a bigger part in the battle? It wasn't about them. It was about God winning the battle and their obedience to support not only Moses, but Joshua and the troops on the battle field.

If you are the ones struggling, God sees you. I see you and I'm praying.  Let's build our faith just as we focus on building our immune system.  In Word, Prayer, and Worship.

So how can we be proactive in building our faith? Immerse yourself in the word, prayer, and worship. Also, surround yourself with people, family who love you and love Jesus. Put yourself in a life group or Sunday school class or team within the church. Create community with others. It's not easy for some of us, but it is really essential for building our faith.  Don't be afraid to share your burdens.  None of us have it together. I promise! Maybe someone in your community has walked where you have walked and has wisdom and knows how to pray. They know how to hold up your arms. It's the body of Christ. Let's build it up just like we do our own body!

Need some quiet time ideas?
RightNow Media
Embraced
Seeking a Heart Like His
Uncommon Life for Men
Behind the Worship

Need some Worship ideas?
In the presence
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Need some Prayer ideas?
I love these journals from Mardel.  I find it better for me to focus when I write my prayers down. It's just like a conversation. It doesn't have to be formal.
You can also pray in the car. I find myself praying in just about the same spot on my drive to and from work. I don't plan for it to happen, it just does, usually in the same exact spot. Weird, huh.
Need quiet when you pray? Find a spot in your home (I use my closet sometimes) where you can have your bible and some paper and pens. You never know when God will tell you something. Sometimes He just has to get us in a quiet place so we will open our ears and listen.
Need to pray with others? Many churches (ours included) have a prayer gathering at some point in the week. One thing I know about people who pray is that they are always looking for and eager for people to join them in prayer (Matthew 18:20).  Again, it doesn't have to be fancy or "preachy", just honest dialogue from your heart to his ears!

Expectation

Expectation, Expectations, Expected, Expect, Expecting 

I believe these words all stir up something different in each one of us. I'm sure it depends on the situation, perhaps on our path or journey, sometimes it depends on our experience. 

The Lord uses my drive to work to speak to me I drive a good 25-30 minutes on rural roads that are peaceful and without a lot of distraction. I usually hear him as I am driving across the lake. Something about the water and the sky meeting makes my heart open up, I guess. A couple of weeks ago,  I was driving across the lake and I could see the sun starting to peak across the horizon. I was running about 15 minutes late, but as I drove on, I heard the Lord say, "You need to stop and take that photo today." You see, there is a spot in my commute where I have been waiting to stop and take the perfect photo for like over a year! I am always too busy, it's not the right lighting, there's not a good place to pull over, or I didn't have my camera.  So, I heard, but kinda just went on my way. I approached "the" spot and it was like the Lord said, "STOP NOW!" All I had was my phone, but it was the photo I had been expecting, waiting for, and it was beautiful!  I didn't have time to stop, but I listened. It got my attention. So, I asked the Lord what else He wanted to say this morning. He said, "Before you do anything at the church, I want you to go check on the bluebonnets." Uhhhh?? Ok??? He said, "No, really, before you do ANYTHING!"  I walked in the church and straight through the sanctuary and out the side door, straight to the crosses.  You may not know this, but in October, the church planted some bluebonnets on the hill under the crosses.  We are all very excited to see them spring up, but I didn't even think it was time for bluebonnets.  So, when the Lord told me to go look at them, I fully expected to see a field of bluebonnets as I came over the hill.  I crossed the pasture and here is what I saw....

To say I was a little disappointed was an understatement. I turned and walked back to the church and He spoke to me once again. He said, "Meridith, you come to me each and every day expecting me to meet you where you are. To walk with you, to move with you, to breathe with you. You come expecting to see great things happen in My name. I want you to have this expectation. It's not wrong to have the expectation because just as you know that you know those seeds are in the ground and they have germinated and are in the process of sprouting, you know that they will come up out of the ground. You expect that, you know that it will happen.  However, you don't know WHEN, that will happen. When it does happen, though, and they come out in all their glory, it will be magnificent.  What I don't want you to do is place expectations on yourself and others to try and MAKE it happen. Those seeds don't do anything that I didn't place in them to do, just as you were made for a purpose and a plan for such a time as this.  Don't saddle yourself with expectations that I didn't place there. Keep expecting me, keep pressing in, and when it's time, it will be glorious!!" 

WOAH NELLY!  What a freedom we have when we take time to stop, be obedient, and wait on the Lord. It was exactly what my heart needed to hear. 

The Bible uses a couple of different definitions for the word expectation. 

1. a cord- as an attachment- a measuring cord to bind with (Tiqvah) to collect or bind together (Niphal)

2.To wait, look for, hope, expect, to wait or look eagerly for (Qavah) Expectation, object of hope or confidence (mabbat)

One seems to mean that we are tied to or bound up with expectation, the other tends to bring hope, longing, desire. We can equate it with waiting.  You can either be full of dread and fear and absolutely hate the waiting, or you can have joy and hope and a time of learning or rest in the waiting. Expectation can be filled with the same of both. Here, the Lord was saying to me, keep expecting my presence because you KNOW that I am here, you KNOW that I am going to move and do great things, you just may not know when. However, don't tie yourself up in the striving to make something happen.  It's not my job to make Him move. It's not my job to conjure up some mood or mystical feeling in worship. I don't want that! That's just creepy. It's not my job to place expectations on myself or on my family to create the perfect outcome. It's my job to point to Jesus and expect Him to work. We want the flowers to spring up in all their glory! Plant the seeds, water in faith, and KNOW that He made them to do what they do.  

What are you expecting today? What expectations do you tie yourself up with? 

-With a grateful heart,  

Meridith

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendorwas dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

Matthew 6:28-33 NLT

22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24 For,

“All people are like grass,

    and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

25 

    but the word of the Lord endures forever.”[c]

And this is the word that was preached to you.

1 Peter 1:22-25 NIV

18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, 21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,[j] including the new bodies he has promised us.24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope[k] for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers[l] in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn[n] among many brothers and sisters.30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

Romans 8:18-30

Jaded?

    I have not blogged in quite some time.  I really feel, though, that this post was too big for Facebook.  Maybe it is just for me, maybe you have felt this way, too.  Whatever it is, it has been stirring in my heart.

     I think sometimes as humans and many times as Christians, we don't monitor the condition of our heart.  We let fear, bitterness, unforgiveness, and hurt creep in and spread like the nasty black stuff in Spiderman 2. We become Jaded. We start thinking that we are better than others and stop listening to the voice of God. 

     I am reading about David in 1 Samuel right now and God says that David was a man after is own heart. This causes me (and I hope you) to pause and think, " What is God's heart like?" 

David was young when God called him to be King over Israel. He was actually overlooked by the man of God, Samuel, and even his own family. Samuel summoned Jesse and his sons because God was going to anoint one of them as King, but they left David out in the field....with the sheep. Was this a choice Jesse made or did David just want to stay and do his job? I don't know, but it seems like David was just over looked. Samuel approached Eliab because he must have looked like a king, tall, strong and bold.  The Lord, however in 1 Samuel 16:7 tells Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  Jesse and Samuel go down the line of brothers and the Lord rejects them all...then they finally look for David. Samuel anoints David and David returns to the sheep. 

David was committed and passionate about his job...the title of future king didn't really even seem to phase him.  As a matter of fact, after David was anointed, he started to work for the current king. Never mentioning the anointing, just serving the king with what he had...his lyre, his song. He was in the palace regularly trying to calm the king. 

     When the battle with the Philistines came, David was out in the field again, tending sheep.  His brothers were on the front lines of the battle and terrified of this big giant, Goliath. David comes to bring his brothers some food and check on them and sees the state of the battle and is appalled that this Goliath is defying God. So, David did what any cocky teenager would do, he said he would fight Goliath.  He stepped into battle with 3 smooth stones and a sling shot and his unwavering faith that the Lord was going to give Israel victory over the Philistines. God did give him the victory and Saul doesn't even know David's name (you know, the kid who has played for you in the palace?) 

God puts David in situations over and over that allow David to give God glory.  He prepares him to lead the people into battle spiritually and physically. (for like 15 years, btw)

Back to the heart. David seems to trust the Lord without really worrying what is around him, he loves on people who are trying to kill him and even connects with Saul's family on a very deep level and honors them when he does become king.  He's a pretty uncommon guy. It's really an amazing example of God's heart. David is human, he still has free will and makes mistakes.  We don't see God's heart perfected until we see Jesus. 

     As Christians and ministers we see so much hurt and fear and desolation that it is easy to just roll your eyes and say, "Here we go again." It's also easy to let our heart get hard towards people and put a wall up to "guard our heart." It's easy to let fear and pride control our actions.
David does this in 1 Samuel 27 and decides to run away to the land of the Philistines.  The enemy! Where he lived for a year and four months.  I don't know about you, but have you ever lived in the presence of your enemy for a year and four months?  Sometimes I feel like I have and it makes you lonely, discouraged, and do things you wouldn't normally if your heart was fixed on him.
There is so much to learn from the heart of David. We can learn how to hear from the Lord, how to follow him, but we can also learn how when we let sin and bitterness and fear enter into our hearts we can become jaded and ineffective.  David had every reason to be Jaded, yet he always ended up turning back to the Lord with his whole heart.
What is the state of your heart?  Do you look at your brother and sister and think that you have it so much more together than they, that they don't deserve another chance with God, or another chance to become whole?  If so, you might be jaded. You might need to look at the condition of your heart.
How?
1.  Get into the Word, hear the truth and let it seep down into your heart. One of my favorite verses (and there are actually two in Ezekiel that say pretty much the same thing) is Ezekiel 36:26.  It says, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Even the children of Israel had this problem, but the Lord promises to restore them and make them fruitful again.
2. Worship is vital to tuning our hearts back to the Father. I don't care if you can't carry a tune in a bucket, worship is necessary and puts us in a posture that is not about us. It's about Him. It's always about him. So, tune your heart to sing his praise (grace)!
3. Prayer is direct communication to God. I mean, we are so fortunate to be able to speak freely with the Father with no middle man. When Jesus died and rose again, he gave us a gift in tearing the veil that separated us from the presence of God. He also gave us the Holy Spirit so we can communicate directly!  Wow! What an honor. So, why don't we use it more? Is it because we don't get an audible response? Is it because we don't know how to pray? Prayer is another way to monitor our heart.  Just having that open line with heaven and laying ourselves down before him to have an honest conversation really focuses our hearts back to where they are supposed to be. Repentance is necessary it breeds forgiveness, hope, grace, freedom, and mercy.
    My verse for my team and myself  this year is Psalm 86:11 TPT, "Teach me more about you, how you work and how you move, so that I can walk onward in your truth until everything within me brings honor to your name."   This started this journey of seeking the heart of the Father. Trust me, family, He loves you and wants to show you great and mighty things.  He wants you to be after His heart so you can live in abundance and blessing. He wants your heart to be tuned to Him so you can know what to do in the battle and hard times. I am praying that we can all go a little deeper and tune our hearts back to Him.  Let Him give you a heart of flesh.